I Will See God

 For I know that my Redeemer and Vindicator lives, and at last He [the Last One] will stand upon the earth. [Isa. 44:6; 48:12.]

 And after my skin, even this body, has been destroyed, then from my flesh or without it I shall see God,

                               --Job 19:25-26 Amplified Classic

I've been thinking an awful lot about Job lately...

Mind you, unlike Job, I have not been up against the loss of a home or my finances. I have not seen everything around me destroyed and, while I have endured the pain of miscarriage three times over, I have not been dealt the hand of losing my four remaining children in one fell swoop. 

I live daily with the pain of fibromyalgia and lumbar spinal stenosis, a degenerative condition in which the discs in my spine are deteriorating thereby causing not only my lower spine to narrow but also places pressure on my hips, knees, and legs. I contend from morning till night with the frustration of "fibro fog," a state that leaves me regularly forgetful and confused, missing appointments and not knowing where I've placed the most basic of things such as my car keys or my cell phone, even messing up my kids' names. And though from time to time my skin feels as though its wrapped in barbed wire I have yet to experience using the jagged edges of broken dishes or glassware to relieve myself of the pain of boils covering me from scalp to toenails. 

This was a day in the life of Brother Job...

Do you know what the kicker is to this entire scenario?

Job had done absolutely nothing  to bring these tragedies and afflictions upon himself!

Which of course begs the age old question...WHY?!?

The answer is simple--Job was a Godly man..

Wait...what?!?

A GODLY man?1? 

Surely your wires must be crossed somewhere because there is no way a Godly man could or would ever have this much adversity thrown at him...

unless....

Unless there are some closeted skeletons of sin stashed somewhere in Job's closet....

No...quite the contrary....

Take a stroll with me over to Job 1:6-7. Here we see a little meeting taking place between God the father and the Enemy Satan:

""Now there was a day when the sons (the angels) of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan (the adversary and accuser) also came among them.

 And the Lord said to Satan, From where did you come? Then Satan answered the Lord, From going to and fro on the earth and from walking up and down on it."

     Hmmmmmm........read further:

"And the Lord said to Satan, Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who [reverently] fears God and abstains from and shuns evil [because it is wrong]?

Then Satan answered the Lord, Does Job [reverently] fear God for nothing?

Have You not put a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have conferred prosperity and happiness upon him in the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land.

 But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has, and he will curse You to Your face.

 And the Lord said to Satan (the adversary and the accuser), Behold, all that he has is in your power, only upon the man himself put not forth your hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord." (v. 8-12)

Wow!!!!!!!

First of all, take a look at the way this conversation goes. Father God asks Satan "From where did you come?" The reply is, "From going to and fro on the earth and from walking up and down on it." While Satan for now has limited access to Heaven, just the opposite can be said for his access to planet Earth. Throughout Scripture he is called "the god of this world," or "the prince of the power of the air." Ah! but there's more.

God mentions Job, asking if he (the enemy) has considered His servant Job and proceeds to brag if you will about Job's character and godliness. Perhaps it wasn't as much bragging as it was affirming; however Satan is preparing a challenge. Of course he has considered Job, just as he considers any saint of God. Not only does he see them (or us), he looks for ways to bring harm. He seeks any and every opportunity to find fault, to block, to hinder, and to stunt any growth or promotion in the lives of God's people. 

When Satan throws down the gauntlet by saying, "Does Job [reverently] fear God for nothing?" he is doing two things. First, he is embodying the name "Accuser of the brethren," (Revelation 12:10) By asking this question, he is more or less implying as well as insisting that Job's worship and praise was nothing short of false, hinting at a "What's in it for me?" attitude from Job as to the why behind his reverence. Secondly, he goes on to mention the hedge of protection that has been placed around Job and that not only has he been protected by the hand of God but he has been blessed as well. The implication here was that in order for Job to worship and praise God, he first has to be bribed. It's with this level of cocky confidence that Satan says, "...touch all he has and he will curse you to your face." 

Challenge accepted!

There was, however, a qualifier..."upon the man himself do not put forth your hand."

And just like that, Job lost everything!

It's so hard to fathom..

What happened? Verse 22 says, "In all this Job sinned not nor charged God foolishly."

Not quite the reaction Satan was looking for...

In fact, in chapter 2 there is yet another meeting with him and Father God. Once again God affirms Job's character and godliness, Still stinging from the first defeat, Satan says this, "Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has will he give for his life.

 But put forth Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse and renounce You to Your face.

 And the Lord said to Satan, Behold, he is in your hand; only spare his life."

As if losing his wealth, his home, his livestock, and children weren't enough, now Job finds himself sitting in a bed of ashes using broken pieces of clay to relieve the pain and itching of boils and sores that covered his body from head to toe. 

His wife says, "Renounce God and die."

His friends came against him. 

Job had moments of frustration and despair. 

Yet in v. 10 of chapter 2 we read, " In [spite of] all this, Job did not sin with his lips."

As a matter of fact, God restores Job and gives back twice what he had previously lost. 

Again, not quite what Satan was looking for...

I say I have been thinking about Job quite a bit lately as I learn to fumble my way through every day life as widow, a word that still sounds foreign to my ears and tastes like lemon on my tongue. One less place to set at the table for meals. One side of the bed remaining empty. Things such as bills, appointments, work, school, errands etc. that were once shared are now mine and mine alone to sort through and get figured. Plans made, hopes shared, and dreams dreamed are left undone and in the natural I want to scream at the Heavens of the unfairness of it all. I find myself biting back words of questioning concerning the provision for myself and especially my family. I've only been a widow for 2 1/2 weeks and in that short length of time my prayers have at times felt like they were echoes across an empty canyon. 

Yet, like Job, I also ask myself if I should accept only the good things in life and run from the bad. I ask myself Who it is that has brought me from point A to point B, Whose provisions have always found their way to me at exactly the moment they were needed most. Whose comfort blanket of peace and love has wrapped itself around me and my family and kept us not just during this time but every other moment leading up to this..

I know my Redeemer lives...

I know He has the final say and victory...

I know I will see my husband again one day soon...sooner rather than later...

And I know without any hesitation, without any question, without any doubt...

I WILL SEE GOD!!!!!!!!!