Reaping Joy While Sowing Tears
“They who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing. He who goes forth bearing seed and weeping (at needing his precious supply of grain for sowing) shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.”–Psalm 126:5-6, Amplified
Sowing in tears…bearing seed and weeping…yes, it has been one of those kinds of weeks. It began on Tuesday with my husband out cutting the front half of the yard, stopping only when his body said “No more.” He went about his day as any other day, showering, dressing for work, looking good with a smile as big as the sky. He headed out the door as he always does with a kiss and the words, “See you tonight, honey.” And then at some point during his shift, something changed. Pain in his right wrist and knee where his prosthetic touches the skin. Nausea, vomiting, the shakes. Before I knew it, I was getting a phone call telling me an ambulance was on its way to take him to the hospital. My heart, along with the rest of my insides sank. I know this dance. I know it very well. When I arrived at the hospital’s emergency room, I learned his white counts were elevated, as were his blood sugars and blood pressure. I heard mention that his EKG looked “different” but that was all that was said. Doctors went in with a scope to clean out around his knee in the attempt of pinpointing just exactly what was going on. All we knew was that our old “friend” called Infection had come calling. We just didn’t know how or where it made its entrance.
My husband is a diabetic, having been officially diagnosed in 1996. At first the disease came across as being fairly mild but over the course of the last eight years we have found it to be ruthless and ugly. Cataracts removed, retinas reattached, gastroporesis (where a device is placed in the stomach to aid in the stomach’s processing of food), multiple MRSA infections, his right foot being amputated nearly four years ago, three toes amputated on his remaining foot this past year, an enlarged heart on the right side, along with eight years of dialysis. Because of these issues, especially the ones dealing with his heart and his susceptibility to infections, he is no longer considered a candidate for a kidney transplant. Without a kidney, the dialysis patient will live anywhere between 7-10 years. My husband has already hit the eight year mark and every hospital stay is one step closer to the reality I face each and every day, the reality of losing my husband. He has come to terms with it. He will tell anyone who asks why he still smiles through his suffering; it is because he knows where he is going, that his body was made to fail. Though the disease holds him captive, the end result is being with Jesus. Therefore what is there to be sad about?
When the Psalmist penned these words found in the above verses, they were done so to assure and encourage the people to keep trusting and persevering, knowing that God would indeed bring restoration. The author had written this Psalm during the time of the return of the exiles being held captive in Babylon in 538 B.C. When the captives were set free, joy followed.
What is it that is holding you captive today? Is it your health? Your finances? Are you struggling in your heart or in your emotions? Jesus promises “to wipe away every tear…there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4) He is “mindful of our tears.” (2 Timothy 1:4) Our tears have been placed in His bottle (Psalm 56:8); they matter to Him. God wants you to reap a harvest of joy for your sowing of tears.
These are the moments to soak in His presence and His love. Quiet your mind and spirit. If you keep a prayer journal, write down your thoughts and reflections. Share what God has given to you. Share any key Scriptures that may have been spoken to your heart in this time as well.
Sowing in tears…bearing seed and weeping…yes, it has been one of those kinds of weeks. It began on Tuesday with my husband out cutting the front half of the yard, stopping only when his body said “No more.” He went about his day as any other day, showering, dressing for work, looking good with a smile as big as the sky. He headed out the door as he always does with a kiss and the words, “See you tonight, honey.” And then at some point during his shift, something changed. Pain in his right wrist and knee where his prosthetic touches the skin. Nausea, vomiting, the shakes. Before I knew it, I was getting a phone call telling me an ambulance was on its way to take him to the hospital. My heart, along with the rest of my insides sank. I know this dance. I know it very well. When I arrived at the hospital’s emergency room, I learned his white counts were elevated, as were his blood sugars and blood pressure. I heard mention that his EKG looked “different” but that was all that was said. Doctors went in with a scope to clean out around his knee in the attempt of pinpointing just exactly what was going on. All we knew was that our old “friend” called Infection had come calling. We just didn’t know how or where it made its entrance.
My husband is a diabetic, having been officially diagnosed in 1996. At first the disease came across as being fairly mild but over the course of the last eight years we have found it to be ruthless and ugly. Cataracts removed, retinas reattached, gastroporesis (where a device is placed in the stomach to aid in the stomach’s processing of food), multiple MRSA infections, his right foot being amputated nearly four years ago, three toes amputated on his remaining foot this past year, an enlarged heart on the right side, along with eight years of dialysis. Because of these issues, especially the ones dealing with his heart and his susceptibility to infections, he is no longer considered a candidate for a kidney transplant. Without a kidney, the dialysis patient will live anywhere between 7-10 years. My husband has already hit the eight year mark and every hospital stay is one step closer to the reality I face each and every day, the reality of losing my husband. He has come to terms with it. He will tell anyone who asks why he still smiles through his suffering; it is because he knows where he is going, that his body was made to fail. Though the disease holds him captive, the end result is being with Jesus. Therefore what is there to be sad about?
When the Psalmist penned these words found in the above verses, they were done so to assure and encourage the people to keep trusting and persevering, knowing that God would indeed bring restoration. The author had written this Psalm during the time of the return of the exiles being held captive in Babylon in 538 B.C. When the captives were set free, joy followed.
What is it that is holding you captive today? Is it your health? Your finances? Are you struggling in your heart or in your emotions? Jesus promises “to wipe away every tear…there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4) He is “mindful of our tears.” (2 Timothy 1:4) Our tears have been placed in His bottle (Psalm 56:8); they matter to Him. God wants you to reap a harvest of joy for your sowing of tears.
Devotional Time
These are the moments to soak in His presence and His love. Quiet your mind and spirit. If you keep a prayer journal, write down your thoughts and reflections. Share what God has given to you. Share any key Scriptures that may have been spoken to your heart in this time as well.
Comments
Post a Comment